Dear Abby: I cant enjoy my retirement because my friends are taking advantage of me

DEAR ABBY: I enjoy helping my friends, my partner and family members.I feel doing good deeds is important in my retirement.

My hands are pretty full with getting my elderly dad to medical visits, and I also visit him three times a week.I also have older single friends I do things for, such as occasionally dropping off meals and running errands. Lately, I have been asked to provide transportation to medical appointments for no less than three of these friends.

One, in particular, is more of a friend of my partner.Nevertheless, she expects a lot of me.

I feel taking care of my dad and my partner keeps me busy enough.I feel pressured by these other friends.

If I say no to them, I feel guilty. How do I gracefully bow out with these folks? One of them has implied I’m not a good friend if I don’t help them get to the doctor, sit with their dog, etc.She never seems to remember past good deeds and loves to start arguments with everyone (she only has one or two friends left).

Any advice? — WEARY MAN IN WISCONSINDEAR WEARY MAN: For some folks, it’s only a short step from being a people-pleaser to being a doormat.You have been kind and helpful; now it’s time to start helping yourself.

You shouldn’t feel guilty for saying no to entitled individuals.The woman you described is one of them, so don’t expect her to be grateful for the time and effort you have already given. Developing the ability to say no is similar to weightlifting.Start small, work your way up, and in a short time, you will have developed the muscle.

Try it.You’ll like it.DEAR ABBY: My husband and I met on the debate team in high school.

We would get into heated debates about every topic, and I think it was one of the things he loved most about me. Fast-forward 14 years and a couple of children later, and I don’t have the fire in me to debate “oranges vs.strawberries” anymore.

Every time I state a simple opinion, he tries to engage in a debate, but he goes from zero to 100 in a ...