Heres the Trump roasting that cowardly Kamala has ducked

In the most predictable news of the most unpredictable presidential race in history, Kamala Harris has declined to attend the annual Alfred E.Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner in New York next month.The historic Catholic fundraiser has always been a rare moment of genuine levity, especially in election years when both major party nominees traditionally roast each other with mocking speeches.But not this time.Harris told organizers she won’t be there because she says she needs to focus on her campaign.Oh, give me a break!The Al Smith dinner has always been a useful campaign opportunity for candidates to show they can laugh at themselves and raise millions for charity, all in front of a big TV audience of potential voters.The only reason you’d turn it down is fear.Kamala won’t be there because she has an unmitigated terror of being trapped outside of her robotic teleprompter comfort zone, and at the mercy of Donald Trump’s savagely waspish humor which he used to such hilarious effect against Hillary Clinton at the same 2016 dinner.It’s not just cowardly for Kamala to duck it, it’s also very revealing about her character that she finds the idea of being comedically roasted so frightening, though not entirely surprising given how resolutely she refuses to submit herself to proper media interview scrutiny.However, I don’t see why she should escape the roasting she deserves, so here’s the speech that Donald Trump might have made if Kamala hadn’t canceled:“Good evening, it’s great to be here in front of what I’m told is the biggest audience this event has ever seen, with tickets selling out faster than Kamala chucked Joe Biden under a bus after my debate with him.“And boy does she love selling out.

Just ask the fracking industry!“I’m not saying my opponent is a Kama, Kama, Kama, Kama, Kama Kameleon, but if you’re wondering why she turned up late tonight, it’s because it takes so long for her to put make-up on her two faces.“I haven’t s...