Are you glossing? Pretending to be fine at work isnt doing any good

Countless workers are smiling through the stress via a phenomenon called “glossing” and it’s time to put an end to it.“Glossing” refers to excessive optimism to dismiss difficulties at work, including real emotional struggles and negative emotions, said Dr.Trina Clayeux, PhD, of Raleigh, NC, and CEO at Give an Hour, a mental health nonprofit that provides free mental health services nationwide through a network of volunteer professionals.“Using this coping mechanism can lead to mistrust, isolation, increased stress and even resentment,” said Clayeux, pointing to a 2024 Monster poll which found that 67% of workers feel they work in a toxic environment and 78% of workers don’t think their employer is doing enough to address their mental wellness at work.Most people know if they are glossing, said Karen Leal, performance specialist at Insperity, a national HR provider in Houston.“They may say they are fine or not speak up, but they have an inner monologue about what is not quite sitting right,” she explained, noting that glossers may also know what changes they would like to see but aren’t expressing their thoughts and ideas.The practice of sidestepping these conversations can become a bad habit.“The longer the avoidance continues, the chances of productively addressing the issues get slimmer,” she said.

“The issues either go unresolved or get addressed when they can’t be swept under the rug anymore.”Along with the dreaded “I’m fine,” some telltale signs from co-workers include dismissive comments and ignoring feedback.Even those overly cheerful emails could be an avoidance tactic, said Clayeux, who advised paying attention to phrases like “just stay positive!” or “it could be worse!”“This is very common in toxic environments where glossing is a consistent practice,” she said.Here’s how to overcome this common workplace MO.Clayeux stressed checking in with yourself and gauging the emotional tone of conversations.

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