Holy Thin-ity: Cardinal Dolan slims down for Al Smith Dinner with a little help from Ozempic

Besides what you’ve already been fed about the annual Alfred E.Smith Dinner, it began at the Waldorf which may finish when street carts are on Jupiter.

Its reconstruction has taken longer than redoing Dolly Parton’s face.At this year’s venue, the Hilton, His Eminence Timothy Cardinal Dolan sported brand-new just-made first-time-only cardinal clothes.“Lost 30 pounds,” he told me.“Nothing fit me anymore.

We tried but couldn’t take them in that much so these are all brand new.I lost it all with that new drug Ozempic.

Was great.No aftereffects.

I’m going to lose more.”Somebody awakened the Secret Service because protection was no secret.Street barriers everywhere.

Roadways, entrances barricaded.Sideways parked cop cars.

Dudes with dark blue suits and open jackets everywhere but the ladies’ room.Private roped-off areas depending on your grade and hustle ability.

Pols couldn’t even hide behind their donors.The Hilton’s endless dais — more bodies on it than live in this continent — behind doors.Family members behind one.

Friends with relatives not in jail behind another.A dais reception.

Cardinal’s reception.Receiving line reception.

A who cares reception.What was everywhere were those bite-size room-temperature hot dogs in their stiff plaster-coated buns.One swallow and it’s straight to Emergency.Arrival was to be 4:30.

Dinner scheduled for 7:30 came and went.After chatting with more faces than I’d ever seen at St.

Patrick’s I split to share leftovers with my dog.To keep the Catholic spirit comes “Conclave.” Saga of electing new pope.Each cardinal with his own agenda.John Lithgow: “It’s a conflict about faith, ambition and how international is the College of Cardinals.

We all stayed in the same hotel.Like the cardinals clubbing together.” Subscribe to our daily Post Opinion newsletter! Please provide a valid email address.

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