Why should I leave them anything? Estranged mom wont give kids a cent

There’s this woman on TikTok called Doormat Mom, and she’s stirring the pot with some pretty controversial stuff about her estranged kids.Now, she’s asking if it’s okay to leave them out of her will.“Should I include, axe, or modify? What’s the deal with ungrateful adult children and inheritances?”More than 1200 people answered her.Some viewers are like, “Heck yes, cut them out!” while others are saying, “What about the kids’ side of the story?”A few are even suggesting leaving money to the grandkids, but only if the parents don’t get a cent.I find this all so interesting because it’s apparently so common.

Anna Russell recently wrote an article for The New York Times about how more adult children are distancing themselves from their parents, and asks, “Is it empowerment or just a worrying trend in family dynamics?”The last will I drafted was when I was five, and I said I would leave my bike to my cat.But now, as an adult with kids, I know it’s something I should probably tackle.I’ve heard so many horror stories about families falling apart over wills and siblings dragging each other to court—money just complicates everything.

After watching Doormat Mom, I started thinking: what would I do if my kids decided they didn’t want to have anything to do with me?It’s clear that Doormat Mom has a lot to say about her “ungrateful children,” but honestly, I can’t help but wonder what her kids’ side of the story is.It reminds me of the saying, “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”Do we really want our legacy to be a final act of resentment?I remember a time when I had a flatmate who basically kicked me out right before my wedding.

Talk about stress.I was super tempted just to leave her hanging without paying rent when it was due, but my husband convinced me to do the decent thing and pay her for a couple of weeks. Even when my emotions were running wild, doing the right...