Dear Abby: Does my friend need to reciprocate a favor in my time of need?

DEAR ABBY: I helped a friend by giving her rides to and from work for two weeks while her car was being repaired.When she got her car back, she told me to let her know if she could ever repay the favor by helping me. Recently, my car needed repairs, so I asked if I could cash in the favor for a ride to and from work for a few days.

She replied that she could do that for me, but I should know she had already “paid the favor (owed to me) forward” by helping out one of her other friends, so she felt she didn’t owe me a favor any longer.I also got the impression that, if she gave me rides to work, I would owe her a new favor.

I told her to forget that I asked, and I’d find another way to get to work. Is there some rule of etiquette that says you should tell someone you are “paying a favor forward” and no longer owe them a favor? — ANNOYED IN THE SOUTHDEAR ANNOYED: If there is, this is the first I have heard of it.The “friend” you describe is what they call a “bean counter,” or a “scorekeeper.” This is someone who places excessive emphasis on controlling things, like expenditures, budgets, and, in her case, relationships.

Folks like that are best avoided. DEAR ABBY: I often wonder why men don’t care for their children like women do.In my lifetime, I have known only one man who changed diapers, did naps and baths, took kids to daycare or school, attended most events in the child’s life, and was there for the child 24 hours a day.

(He’s the man I married.) Most men I know think all of the above are the woman’s responsibility alone, even if she works full time.I can only assume it dates back to cavemen days or life on the prairie.

–– VALUED IN INDIANA DEAR VALUED: Ideally, the responsibilities of child care should be shared.You didn’t mention your age, but over the past couple of decades I have been impressed to see fathers proudly carrying their babies in a sling or pushing them in strollers.

They also take older children o...