How to Handle Trash Talk at Work

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Letters may be edited.A Failure to CommunicateI work in a small, close-knit, diverse team in a large health care organization.We have worked well together for years and have occasionally, and happily, socialized together outside of work.

Recently there has been a marked cooling between two of my colleagues.They had a scuffle over an office-related issue (parking), which probably would not have been a big deal, but then one of them (P) trash talked the other (Q) in Spanish to another Spanish-speaking colleague.

The issue is that this happened right in front of Q, who understands Spanish, which was not known by P.I want to tell P that Q understands Spanish.

I worry more will be said in this way, leading to more hard feelings.Is it OK to lean in like this?— AnonymousThis feels a little like an “A-story” in an NBC sitcom.

(I’d call the episode “Mind Your P’s and Q’s.”) In fact, when I ran your question by my editor, his response was: “Love in-office fighting!” I love it as well … when I’m not the subject of it, of course.But I will dispense with the amusement because the reality is this isn’t a situation comedy but a situation — awkward! — and one I’m interested in tackling.First things first: Parking.

You may think it’s not a big deal, but it’s an issue for a fair number of us, and not just in the context of the workplace.(I live in Los Angeles.) Of course, it’s possible, even likely, that the bad vibes that resulted from the parking fracas are evidence of a deeper conflict between your two colleagues.

But sometimes a parking space is just a parking space.A few observations and opinions.No.1: That Q understands Spanish heightens the stakes in this scenario, but it’s also secondary.

The bigger issue is that P decided it was OK to trash talk a colleague in front of...