How to Keep People Pleasing From Ruining Your Finances

Hailey Magee often paid for drinks when she went out with friends, bought loved ones expensive dinners and picked up the tab on dates.During the holiday season, Ms.

Magee purchased lavish gifts, even when she was on a tight budget.“I always felt pinched and stressed,” she said.Ms.Magee, 31, a certified life coach and author of “Stop People Pleasing: And Find Your Power,” said she felt a “compulsion to pay for things.”While others benefited from Ms.

Magee’s largess, it put financial strain on her.Ms.

Magee, who lives in Seattle, would make sacrifices in her own spending, such as putting off buying a new dining table or a full set of dinnerware.She also lowballed clients for her coaching services.“I was abandoning myself,” she said.Behavior like this is a classic example of “people pleasing.” And when it comes to your finances, it can show up in various ways.

Perhaps you tip generously, lend others money or buy your children expensive clothes when you can’t afford to.And while being a “yes” person may be seen as kindness, it often “comes at a cost,” said Alex Melkumian, a psychologist in Los Angeles.Ms.

Magee said she had spent thousands on others, leaving less money for her savings and retirement accounts.Corie Lowden, host of “The People Pleaser Podcast,” has a habit of trying to make others happy — even when it hurts her financial health.Ms.

Lowden said she had once paid $80 for a bouquet of balloons for her grandfather’s birthday.When it was time to pay, she learned that helium would cost extra, but she spent the money anyway.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.

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