The Best of the Babylon Bee: From Trumps Stanley Cup proposition to Punxsutawney Phils deportation

President Donald Trump has just become the first fascist in the history of humankind to use his despotic powers to reduce the size of the government.READ MOREAmid ongoing discussions with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, President Donald Trump announced he would lift Canadian tariffs just as soon as they win a Stanley Cup.

READ MOREPresident Donald Trump announced this morning that he has officially replaced the entire federal workforce with one single teenage Chick-Fil-A employee.READ MOREBeloved groundhog Punxsutawney Phil has been deported back to Canada after the rodent failed to produce the needed paperwork at this year’s Groundhog Day celebration.

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