Worn Out by an Extrovert? You Can Go Gray.

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Letters may be edited.The Introvert’s DilemmaI’m an introvert who manages a small team of remote workers, all people I knew prior to taking a manager position.I did not work closely with any of my team prior to taking this position, and we rarely interacted.

Now, of course, we interact much more often, but I find that one of them, a very nice woman, is my social opposite — she’s an extrovert who needs a lot of interaction and attention.Her communication is also frequently unprofessional in either tone (starting emails with “Yo, cool chick” or describing a mistake as “pooping her pants”) or substance (gossip about co-workers or stories about her mother-in-law).A normal day with her looks like receiving at least three to four emails, 10 to 12 Zoom chat messages and at least one phone call, almost none of it about work.I’ve felt obligated to accommodate some of this, both to maintain a good working relationship with her and because I know I need to grow to be a good manager.

Growth involves being uncomfortable.But I find these interactions draining and, when the content is juvenile or about office politics, irritating.How do I set boundaries that allow us to maintain a good rapport but also respect my time and desire to keep it professional?— AnonymousDraining? I can certainly imagine.

Irritating? No doubt.But first I want to say I’m impressed by your acknowledgment that part of being a manager is encouraging the growth of not just your direct reports but yourself.It’s admirable, this impulse to pay attention to what employees need for success while also taking steps to improve yourself as a professional and as a human being.I get the feeling that your employee’s problem may be not her extroversion but her lack of boundaries.

Many of us joke around and say revealing things about ...