Life is all about what you get so get ready
Life is get.Get a friend.
Get education.Get a diploma.
Get a purpose.Get a job.Try: Get a bank account.Next: Get your nose done, hair done, nails done.
Get your morals under control.More try to: Get a date.Get a mate.
If you live in the woods and none’s available, try an unemployed lumberjack.Want a baby? Get pregnant, get larger apartment, get diapers, get a crib, get a rattle, get some sleep, get a doctor.Terrible twos: Get a babysitter, get toys, get patience, get whythehell you got pregnant.Child: Get a kindergarten class, get transportation, a tutor, a schedule, a lunch box, find some way to try to recharge your mate. First, wake him up.Preteens: Get them new clothes, get a cellphone, get to the parents of the kid who bullies your kid, get crazy, get pills for whatever problem, get a sitter.Teens: Get an orthodontist, a skin doctor, a piano teacher, a nearby dance class, get frank sex talk, get the kid a new wardrobe, get another way to recharge your mate, get your teen a driver’s license, get a mechanic after your child gets a driver’s license, get a lawyer after your child gets a driver’s license, get a vacation.Kids off to college: Get another tutor, get a school, get transportation, get books, get housing, get him/her a roommate, get a second one because he/she didn’t like the first one.Kids like sports? Schlep them to baseball, football, paddleball, don’t forget the eight ball they’re putting you behind.Teach: No stealing, no drugs, no lying — unless, of course, it beats your stealing and lying.Sex: Website OMGYes.com teaches what you should know.If you’re an advanced student, help out your mother.Thoughts: Even if you’re not an advanced student, help out your mother.
More thoughts: Even if you’re a dumb cluck, help out your mother.Wedding: Get that you have to pay for it.Honeymoon: Get that you have to pay for it.Marriage: Consider your husband like he’s a poodle.
Teach him bathroom manners, let him out once in a while...