US friendship is in freefall shredding bonds and cutting lives short

Friendship in America is in steep decline: We’re more disconnected from each other than ever, and the gulf between us is only growing.Does it matter?It does.

We know that friendships are good for us.People with stronger social interactions live longer than those without, according to a study published last week in the UK’s Nature Medicine journal.Living with a partner, for example, is as good for physical health as regular exercise, researchers found, and having non-related friends to confide in also extends lifespan.Loneliness is a silent killer.

A US surgeon general’s report from 2023 found it as dangerous as smoking, “associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death” — while upward of 60% of Americans feel lonely on a regular basis, surveys have found.Along with the impact on personal well-being, the trend is dangerous for America itself.A nation that lacks interpersonal relationships is a lower-trust society, more prone to crime and unrest.The loss of friendship is measurable, and can be seen in every age group and demographic — although working-class Americans look to be hardest hit.In 1990, few of us reported having no close friends at all: just 2% of the college-educated and 3% of high school-only graduates.

By 2024, however, according to the Survey Center for American Life, that number grew to 10% for those with a college degree and a whopping 26% for those without.In 1990, 49% of high school grads reported having at least six close friends; now it’s just 17%.Americans with college degrees experienced a similar but less steep drop.The reasons aren’t clear, but it may be that colleges have become more of a social experience than an educational one over the last few decades.

Kids apply to schools that are a “good fit,” thereby putting them in contact with people similar to themselves and making lasting friendships.We’ve long pondered why the marriage rate, and the c...