The Interview: Dr. Lindsay Gibson on Emotionally Immature' Parents

We live in a culture permeated by therapy, one in which people are eager to apply psychotherapeutic concepts to themselves and their closest relationships.That includes, naturally, the relationship with our parents.

But the desire to understand the hows and whys of our parents’ emotional influence is hardly new.Indeed, a classic poem by Philip Larkin, “This Be the Verse,” was buzzing around my mind as I prepared for this interview with the clinical psychologist Dr.

Lindsay C.Gibson, author of the book “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.” Larkin’s poem begins like this: “They mess you up, your mum and dad./They may not mean to, but they do./They fill you with the faults they had/And add some extra, just for you.” (Poetry aficionados will notice I swapped in a clean word for a foul one.

Forgive me, Philip.)But what do we do with the age-old knowledge that parents can bend us in damaging ways? That’s where Gibson comes in.Her book has become a slow-burning best seller since it was published in 2015 and has earned a devoted following on social media, where videos of people talking about it have been seen by millions.

In the book, Gibson argues that a key to understanding harmful parental behaviors is, as her title suggests, the notion of emotional immaturity.Furthermore, that parental immaturity has negative ripple effects for children that last into adulthood.

But thankfully, she says, it’s possible to get out from under the weight of those emotionally immature parents.Even if that means, in drastic cases, breaking off the relationship entirely.So as someone for whom Larkin’s poem rings true, I had much to ask Gibson, as well as a fair degree of skepticism about her work to put to her, all of which she was game to entertain, and all of which can still at times leave me muttering to myself: “Parents.

Oy.”Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube | Amazon | iHeart | NYT Audio AppThe broad definition of emotionally immature...