Come to France for the food, fashion and sights just dont expect friendly people

Warm weather’s coming.Traveling is way up.

It’s like standing room only on aircraft.Why? Who knows.

Planes are now having more trouble than trains.Columbia University has less aggravation.I have spent over half my life abroad.

I’ve missed maybe Madagascar, because even Madagascarenos don’t know where it is.Half of Forest Hills is leaving their two-bedroom condos and schlepping to Europe.Why? Paris is costly.

Cheap was only the guy I was traveling with.Food’s great, fashion’s terrific, sights special — but warm? Friendly? Please.

I asked one gas station attendant if he’d also wipe my windshield.He threw the oily rag at me with “Do it yourself.”One time only were they nice — when I brought my 5-pound Yorkie along.

They gave Jazzy water, food, her own chair, her own dishes, photographed her, petted her.Cootchy-coo’d her.

Dogs they love.People, no.London has good hotels.

A rear cell overlooking the night before’s trash cans starts at $1,500 a night.Rome? It’s Holy Year.

The Vatican’s sold out.Try the Amalfi Coast.

Big bargains.$4,000, but it includes breakfast.

Lasagna goes good with Colgate.Mallorca’s a new big thing.Not 100 degrees in the shade and if you’re under a ladyfriend’s fake eyelashes, at least you’re in the shade.

Semi economic spots are Prague, Switzerland, Bavaria, Berlin, Scandinavia, Greece, Spain, Poland, Portugal.Be careful about Portugal.Exiled royalty vacation a few miles from Lisbon in Cascais on the Riviera.So what do I know, I’m in Cascais seated at a round table for 10.

Guy alongside me I don’t know.Nice blue suit.

I don’t know from borscht.I ask what’s he do? He says, “I’m temporarily unemployed.” The other nine people stopped swallowing to stare at me.

I naturally figured that’s because I’m so gorgeous and worldly.I say, “Well, you must’ve done some great work because your suit’s elegant and your speech perfect.

What’s your name?” He says, “Rei.”Go know “Rei...