Im a stressed mom of a 14-year-old heres why I dont blame women who dont want kids

Like many of you, I’ve found parenting incredibly difficult.When I had my first daughter back in 2010, I experienced severe postnatal depression, something common in Australia, where one in five women face PND.While I love my kids dearly, I don’t love mothering.It’s hard every day.I’d assumed the mental and domestic load would decrease as they got older, but that hasn’t been the case.

I recently confessed to a friend with older kids that, “I am not ready to be the parent of a 14-year-old-girl.”She laughed and replied: “Yes.Nothing can prepare you for this.

The kids get bigger, and their problems get bigger.”When kids are young, parents worry about things like feeding and teething.As they grow, the stakes shift.

Parents of teens face issues such as self-harm, suicidal thoughts, drug use, body dysmorphia, racial identity, extreme cyberbullying and school refusal.Mental health problems in our youth have skyrocketed since COVID.Ten years ago, I wrote about my own parenting struggles and was met with harsh backlash, including hate mail from one man who called me a “selfish bitch.” He told me I “didn’t even deserve to have kids.” He then said he felt sorry for my kids (who are lovely, flourishing humans, by the way).This kind of vitriol against mothers who express doubt about parenting is common, but it raises an interesting question: Why won’t society allow women to admit that parenting is hard, or even that they don’t enjoy it?A major issue is that society needs people to have children in order to keep functioning.

This is why politicians panic when fertility rates fall.An aging population, without enough children to replace it, means fewer taxpayers to fund healthcare and education.

This also puts pressure on systems like health and aged care.My question is: If we need women to have children, why do we make it so difficult for them?A content creator I follow, Paige Turner, a working mother of four, expressed her frustration...