Whats microcheating? Inside the new infidelity trend couples dont even know theyre committing

Liking a co-worker’s photo on social media.Sending them direct messages.

Checking in on Slack more often than before.Progressively interacting in this way with someone outside your relationship may be no big deal to you.To your significant other, however, it may be microcheating, which some people consider a form of infidelity because it can involve building a bond one heart emoji at a time.Although pushing the boundaries of what’s allowed in a relationship is not a new concept, the issue has become even more common with the rise of remote work, said William Schroeder, a therapist and owner of Just Mind Counseling centers in Austin, Texas.“People are having more digital relationships so it kind of creates more space for that,” Schroeder said.

“In this work-from-home environment, it can happen even easier because it’s real low risk.”Microcheating, a term popularized by Australian psychologist Melanie Schilling, could be anything short of a physical or emotional relationship if it involves a behavior you can’t talk about openly with a partner.Besides furtive social media chatting, it also could mean lingering too long at the water cooler to talk to a co-worker, sharing personal details of your own relationship, or dressing up if you know you’ll see someone.“We’ve just put a newer label on it,” said Abby Medcalf, a psychologist in Berkeley, California, and host of the “Relationships Made Easy” podcast.But Medcalf noted that with most of her patients in recent years, microcheating involves texting or messages on social media.And it can be a slippery slope.As relationship norms evolve and terms like “polyamory” come out of the shadows, liking or commenting on a photo may seem fairly innocuous.

Many couples don’t care, Medcalf said, but people who do shouldn’t feel bad for it.“There isn’t a right and wrong in relationships,” she said.“It comes down to preferences.”Even if a specific action has not been discussed and forbid...